I am slightly concerned that my loyal blog readers are starting to believe that I waste valuable time and resources on managing my band during office hours. While I had been doing it under the guise of helping two New Zealanders adapt to Australian life, I just found out that managing my band at the Consulate is perfectly legal. It turns out that as the Deputy Cultural Attache for New Zealand in Melbourne, it is actually my job to do things like manage a band at the Consulate.

It probably isn’t such a big deal if we don’t get office tinting to stop Greg spying on us anymore, because there’s nothing wrong with what I am doing. My job is to use the arts to promote the culture of New Zealand, so managing a band that consists of two New Zealanders is a perfectly legitimate use of my time. Who knew? Still, it’s a little uncomfortable when Greg stands outside the window during our meetings or hacks the landline so that he can listen in. Perhaps we do still need some commercial glass tinting. Near Melbourne, Bret and Jemaine have been playing a few shows lately, so we’ve been having more band meetings. I don’t want Greg leaking information out to rival bands or anything.

My mother always told me I would grow up to be a successful band manager. I didn’t believe her, but I guess she was right. I am successful, since I have a job at the New Zealand Consulate. I also manage a band. Therefore, I am a successful band manager, even if I’m not really successful at being a band manager. I guess you should have been more specific, Mum.

I have confidence that Bret and Jemaine can make it as a successful band in Australia, though. After all, their only competition is Australians, and everybody knows Australians can’t make good music. They probably think a barbeque is an instrument! Silly Australians. I’d say we have nothing to worry about.

– Murray