This is Chuck Fiddlesticks reporting live for Channel 17. We have quite the story for you today. A new controversy has arisen in the past 24 hours online, when it was discovered that the hit Australian game show Family Fight had rigged the latest episode to kick off the reigning champions without having to pay them the prize money. The truth has been discovered in the depths of the internet, after the show’s producer gloated about his plan succeeding, believing that nobody would ever find his blog post. Boy, was he wrong.

As a result of this discovery, Family Fight has been trending on Tweety, where people are expressing their outrage over the nefarious scheme. Jennifer, one random fan, stated that she was “appalled to discover that the expert commercial glass tinting family members are actually androids”. Others have called for the show to be cancelled immediately. It is unclear whether they mean cancelled by the audience, through cancel culture, or they actually want the show taken off the air. Either would be fair punishment at this point.

Channel 17 has made no effort to hide its bias in the past, and that shall continue today. I will now give my personal opinion on the matter. I personally think it is terrible to use commercial glass tinting near Melbourne as a way out of paying your champions their prize money. The thriving industry will undoubtedly take a hit to its reputation, as people will believe window tinters worked with Family Fight to rig the show. Gary the Producer must face the consequences of his actions.

Thankfully, Gary the Producer suggested the consequence himself. Now, according to the post, he must walk across a dangerous tightrope and eat his shoe, while undressed, on national television. I think that’s fair. If he goes through with it, perhaps we will all watch Family Fight once more. Then again, there are plenty of other reality and game shows to watch. Perhaps this will be the end of Family Fight forever.

– Chuck Fiddlesticks, Channel 17.