I can’t believe everybody believes that imposter is the real Great Glass Window Tinter. I should know he’s a fake since I’m the one who discovered the prophecy in the first place. And yet nobody believes me when I tell them. Either that or they don’t care. As they say, is ignorance worse than apathy? Well, I don’t really know, nor do I care. But I do care that this Zach Jordan is exposed for the fraud he is! 

I suspect that Jordan’s plan is to use the Church of the Tinted flock to start a massive conflict between his followers and Auto King’s supporters. I know there have been a few skirmishes here and there, but I’m talking about the kind of conflict that will keep people in their homes for months and split the city of Melbourne in two. It will be brutal and horrible unless I can find a way to stop it.

How do I know that Zach Jordan is a fake? Well, I heard a rumour that he tinted a stair balustrade made of glass. But the prophecy I found while exploring in Egypt specifically said that the Great Glass Window Tinter will not be able to darken stairs or any glass around them. Stairs are supposed to be his weakness. So obviously he’s a fake! I have a suspicion as to what his plan is, too. I think when Zach Jordan tints glass, he makes it evil. If he turns all the glass in Melbourne evil, everybody will be too afraid to get glass repairs, meaning every glazier service Melbourne has to offer will have no business. I don’t know what Zach Jordan has against glaziers, but he is trying to destroy their industry nonetheless.

Now I just need to work out how I’ll expose his lies. I’m the founder of the Church of the Tinted Flock and nobody will listen to me, so it’ll have to be something big. Something massive.

Oh, I know! I’ll start an online petition. Those always work.